IT’S FALL Y’ALL! Crisp air, pumpkin spice, and most importantly HALLOWEEN! My favorite time of year is finally here and I’m coming to ya with some of my favorite family and little ones’ Halloween costumes.
I’ve always thought about what family costumes I would do if I had a little one of my own, what I would dress him/her in for their first Halloween, how we could go around together trick or treating, and how we could do all the fun Halloween things. All the things I thought about? It’s finally here! My first Halloween with a little spooky babe can this time of year get any better?
Below is a link to some cute family costumes, but I made sure to show you some of my favorites as well!
I find it super cute as a mom to dress up as the Cruella De Vil because with this costume you can pretty much make your own style! Of course the kiddos will make the cutest puppies!
A classic, especially for all of us Disney princess lovers! What is not to love about this family set? As a big Disney princess fan, and someone who will be introducing my daughter to all Disney princess movies…if she says she wants to dress up as Ariel we are dressing up as Ariel. 10/10 any Disney princess costume is a win in my book.
One I know we all love dearly is a timeless HOCUS POCUS! I mean how cute would it be dressing up as the iconic Sanderson sisters with your girls and a handsome Billy Butcherson for dad. I love this one and if my second happens to be a girl I’ll be all over this costume for sure.
Can’t get in the spirit of a family costume? That’s ok, below is a link for some cute individual children’s costumes, and of course a list of some of my favorites!
Personally, I think the animal costumes are the best for young babies because one, obviously it’s super cute but two, Halloween night tends to be cold so costumes like these are perfect in helping keep these cutie patooties nice and warm. We need them comfortable and at the top of their game to fill those candy bags up for us!
I’m not sure about you, but I find it oddly adorable and hilarious when children dress up as scary characters. I mean we are so used to the cute, innocent children’s Halloween costumes that it’s almost exciting to see some creepy kids running around. I mean it is halloween, aren’t we supposed to be spooked?! Costumes like this are definitely in the spirit of Halloween.
Last but certainly not least, anything “The Office” is an obvious yes from me. But seriously, kids dressing up as actual people (tv/movie characters, celebrities, historical figures, etc) are always original and creative! You simply can’t go wrong.
I hope this gives you some inspiration this Halloween! Thanks for stopping by, make sure you keep your eyes open for lots of pictures of Olivia and Griffin on their first Halloween!
Also we would love to see what your little pumpkins dress as! Please tag us in your best Halloween pictures @forthemomsblog!
Enjoy your week, stay spooky, and for sure eat all of your kids candy!
There’s a hierarchy in the OBGYN waiting room. If you don’t know that it means you’ve never had a kid. I used to go to the OBGYN and think nothing of it. Then I made it to the baby making age and I maybe noticed that the pregnant women are taken care of faster but again I think nothing of it. Then I got pregnant and oh baby did I realize it. Roll out the red carpet because here comes the bump!
There’s a shift change the first time you walk into the office pregnant. Receptionists are nicer, warmer, they take care of you first. You don’t have to sit in the waiting room for an hour because they get you seen immediately. You feel a sense of entitlement when you walk in with your bump and plop down on a chair. The kind of entitlement you can only feel if you’re there once a month, twice a week, once a week.
Once that baby comes out though. It’s over. Your 15 minutes are taken away and all you can do is remind everyone you did in fact have a baby, as loudly as you can. “SORRY I’M A COUPLE MINUTES LATE THE SITTER WAS RUNNING BEHIND.” Ok has been. The pregnant girls don’t even look up. They don’t care. Clock struck 12, You’re a pumpkin again.
So ladies there seems to be only one thing we can do here to get back on top and it involves those 2 blue lines.
It’s all fun and games until your favorite pair of jeans don’t fit anymore. It’s exciting watching your belly grow for 9 months, knowing your little babe is in there getting ready to come out and meet you. Taking weekly/monthly “bump” photos seems like a right of passage when you get those 2 blue lines. After a while you realize you can’t just suck in to get those jeans to fit anymore, and that’s where maternity clothes come in. Gone are the days of weird proportions and ruffled shirts. I’m here to give you a list of some of the cutest stores for maternity clothes that will be sure to make you one confident mama!
Target
You are anything but basic if you’re literally growing life in your body, but if you are looking for basic maternity staples then Target is your place. They are great for basic tees, comfortable maxi dresses, and the softest loungewear. You can also usually find a really good price at Target which makes it easier when you know you’ll only need these clothes for a short amount of time.
Nothing says take my picture like Pink Blush maternity clothes. Pink Blush is basically the Coachella of maternity wear. You’ll find all your favorite influencers wearing it and much like waiting for the Coachella lineup it is definitely worth the hype. They are petite and tall friendly so you don’t have to worry about swimming in a dress, or looking like you’re ready for a flood. While it’s definitely on the pricey side you know what you’re getting because you can see pictures of how other mama’s styled it in the review section.
Namaste mama, namaste. Nothing says my husband looked at me funny and I’m in a fit of rage over it like a yoga class. For these moments Beyond Yoga is the place to go. Not only is the fabric heavenly, they also have adorable sets. So whether you are going to hit the mat or you just want to lounge out for a Netflix binge this is the place for you.
Comfort is the name of the game when you feel like you ate the whole thanksgiving turkey. When that’s the case a classic Old Navy look is the way to go. Not only do they supply comfort, they also supply convenience. Old Navy not only has comfy clothes they also have a shop-by-trimester section so your clothes can grow as you do. Then, as if that wasn’t enough you can check out the hospital-to-home section because trust me when you’re wearing a diaper and can’t wipe yourself you want to at least look cute on the outside.
Boohoo isn’t necessarily known for maternity wear because when you think Boohoo you think cool kids. The you before the bump if you will. However, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you aren’t still cool as hell! AKA for those of us in denial, Boohoo actually has a really big maternity section that will help you during your crisis. They have a little bit of everything so you really can’t go wrong.
HONORABLE MENTIONS – Stores for maternity clothes I’ve seen on other mama’s but never wore myself.
Seraphine
Working mom? You mean badass. Whether you are going into the office or you just need to look professional from the hips up, WFH life for the win the Seraphine workwear section is the place for you. From blazers, to pants, to dresses you’re going to show the office this mama means business (at least until maternity leave starts). Their workwear is made to flatter your new curves and make you confident and comfortable so you can take on anything!
For the put together glamorous mama that I am not, here’s to you. Petal and Pup is what you think pregnancy will be. Glowing, put together, constantly in a dress, hair and makeup on point. If that is you…. Congrats. Their bump friendly dresses are dreamy little head turners, so if you want to make all the other mama’s jealous of how great you are at acting like you have your shit together this is the place for you.
It’s the end of the world. I’m uncomfortably pregnant and following close behind my group of friends and family as they run through vacant houses looking for food or anything we can take to try and survive. There’s a yellowish glow in the air and it’s so hot I feel like I’ll melt into a puddle. My job is to keep this baby safe by any means necessary. I can feel my heart racing when I realize someone else is coming. I scream but can’t be heard. I opened my eyes to realize it was just another dream. Today we’re talking about pregnancy dreams and postpartum sleep disorders.
Dreams as well as nightmares are something everyone experiences. During pregnancy however, get ready to experience some of the wildest dreams of your life. I enjoyed waking up and remembering the craziness that happened behind my eyelids, but I also never had a dream that was over the top scary. There is barely any research on pregnancy dreaming but what we do know is we can once again thank those lovely pregnancy hormones.
The American Pregnancy Association put out a list of common changes in dreams that occur during pregnancy which include, but are not limited, to more vivid dreams, nightmares, anxiety based dreams, intense dreams, the ability to remember dreams more clearly, and more frequent dreaming. There are also common dreams that a lot of pregnant women will have and they can differ with which trimester you are in.
FIRST TRIMESTER:
Giving birth to baby animals
Giving birth to a toddler
Swimming or floating on water
Being trapped in a room
Looking at yourself in the mirror and being unrecognizable
Your partner having sex with someone else
Driving a speeding bus or truck.
SECOND TRIMESTER:
Romping with cuddly creatures
Hanging out with an old partner
Misplacing your baby or putting it in danger
Someone attacking you
Giving birth to a non-human entity
Giving birth to your baby
Having a conversation with your newborn.
THIRD TRIMESTER:
Going into labor
Being bombarded by baby names
Trying to figure out the sex of your baby
Random figures such as bears, dinosaurs, or brick walls
Your partner having sex with someone else
Tidal waves
Imagining a baby’s face.
Once you go through those lovely postpartum dreams/nightmares, you aren’t totally out of the woods. Some research has been done on postpartum sleep disorders and I’m going to scratch the surface on a few of them. I thought to look this up after suffering from sleep paralysis twice during my postpartum period. Having never happened before, I figured it had to do with my sleep patterns and having just had a baby so I looked into it and found out these disorders are more common than I originally thought.
Postpartum Psychosis: Postpartum psychosis affects 1 in 500 postpartum moms. Sometimes called puerperal psychosis or postnatal psychosis. It is a serious mental illness and should be treated as such. Causes are extreme sleep deprivation, genetic predisposition, hormone changes, as well as the stress of birth. Symptoms usually start within a few weeks after giving birth and include hallucinations, delusions, manic mood, low mood, feeling suspicious or fearful, restlessness, confused feelings, and out of character behavior. Treatment for postpartum psychosis is done in a hospital and treatment should start immediately.
Dream-enactment: When you sleep, your body is put into a state of paralysis so that you don’t move around and hurt yourself while you dream. However, if you are struggling with dream-enactment, your body is not in a state of paralysis because being woken up every couple hours leaves you in a pretty consistent state of REM (rapid eye movement), which is when most dreams occur. This means you are able to get out of bed and act out your dream in real life. There has been one study done and it concluded that of the new moms in the study, ⅔ showed signs of dream-enactment behaviors. This means it’s more common than we think. Dr. Neilson, who conducted the study stated that it wasn’t because of the amount of sleep moms were getting, it was about the quality of sleep they got.
Hypnagogic hallucinations: You think you can see, hear, smell, touch things while you are asleep. The main symptom is imagining a very realistic object just before dozing off then waking up fearful that the hallucination was real. This usually takes place when someone is going through a high stress time, such as postpartum. Hypnagogic hallucinations are also closely related to Sleep Paralysis: This occurs when you’re in between a sleep and wake cycle. The person is completely immobile. It is best described as a dream where they are frozen in time. It can cause a great deal of anxiety as you can start to feel like you can’t breathe. If you are struggling with either, it is best to contact your doctor and let them figure out the best treatment option for you.
Postpartum nightmares: Unlike regular nightmares, postpartum nightmares can be related to PTSD, which can occur after a traumatic birth. A lot of these nightmares are very violent in nature and can cause anxiety in a new mom.
Just remember mamas, even though there isn’t a lot of research, it doesn’t mean you can’t go through any of these things. The more we talk about it the more we can help our fellow moms out. Don’t think you are going through this alone. Tonight there will be tons of other moms waking up in a sweat, walking in their sleep, seeing things that aren’t there and placing a hand on their child to make sure they are soundly sleeping and safe in their beds.
*I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL! All information on this blog is for educational purposes only, and does not substitute for medical advice. Consult a medical professional or healthcare provider if you are seeking medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment. We are not responsible or liable for risks or issues associated with using or acting upon the information on our site.
Are we ever really prepared for giving birth? Like truly prepared? I hear stories about how everyone gets themselves ready with their bags packed and their “birth plan”. When I tell you I totally had full intentions of all of that and as far as “birth plans” go….it didn’t really go for me. Let’s start from the beginning.
At Olivia’s first fetal growth scan, she was measuring small. There were no concerns and the doctors assured me: “every baby grows differently, everything is okay ” but they wanted to bring us in again in a few months for another growth scan. When we had the second one, I was feeling good. I felt like she grew because she was moving so much, I just had good feelings. The doctor came in and told us Olivia did not grow as much as we wanted her to and it looked like IGR (Irregular Growth Restriction) also known as IUGR (Intrauterine Growth Restriction). She was behind. IGR? What is IGR? I didn’t understand what that meant and needed someone to explain to me what was going on!! The only way I could describe my feelings was that I felt like I was punched in the throat. I looked at Jimmy, he grabbed my hand and he calmly smiled at me and he told me, “don’t cry, don’t cry, it’s okay”. I immediately broke down in tears because my mindset as a pregnant woman was that I am carrying and providing for this baby so my mind automatically went to “what am I doing wrong?” “What can I do to prevent this?” “How can I help my baby?”. The doctors confirmed it was Irregular growth restriction, which meant my baby wasn’t growing. She wasn’t where she was supposed to be. The tears just flowed…damn hormones.
Finally the doctor reassured me that Olivia was okay. There were no indications she wasn’t okay but it looked like we should prepare for an induction. They also wanted me to go in twice a week for non-stress tests. The doctors believed she would do better on the outside than in. HUH? I was like make that make sense to me. She would do better out here than in my belly. I was confused. But, I went to my tests, my NST nurses were amazing and told me not to worry. It was just precaution to take some comfort in hearing my baby.
My induction was scheduled for January 21st, a Friday. I decided my last day of work would be the 18th, a Tuesday. I figured that way I had the rest of the week to prepare, pack my hospital bag, because it wasn’t like I would have been going into labor on my own so I had time to do all of these things. Induction was the plan got it… I left work for the last time to go to my NST and also a third growth scan. Everything seemed normal. I chatted with the nurses and they loved me. Nurse Tina, my favorite nurse at MFM, she was so excited because her birthday was January 22nd, so she made jokes about how the baby might be born on her birthday. I secretly hoped for that because she made me feel okay at every appointment. After the NST was done it was time for the growth scan. The tech was quiet as a mouse, normally she would show me the baby and print me pictures, but this time she didn’t. She finished and said “I’m going to send the doctor in.” Okay……weird. The doctor came in and our conversation went like this:
Doc: “It’s a beautiful day to have a baby!”
Me: “Yeah this weekend, I’m super nervous”
Doc: “No…like today”
‘TODAY??? Like today?’
Doc: “So it looks like she is still measuring small, she is about 5 lbs. I am going to have you drive over to the hospital, they are expecting you so you are all set to go straight from here.”
At this point I couldn’t speak. I had just got off of work, I was still in my scrubs.
“Wait like right now?”
“Yup right now.”
I was stuttering at this point and couldn’t get words out. by myself. This was supposed to be a normal NST day, not going to the hospital to have a baby day. Huh? I asked if I could go home to shower and pack a mini bag before I go to the hospital. My doctor told me no. I told her I needed to call my boyfriend. She said, “Don’t scare him, everything is fine. He has time.” I asked her, “So he has time to get off of work but I can’t go home to shower and pack a mini bag? Is she okay?” “Yes she is fine, we just don’t know if she will be okay come Friday.” Excuse me What.the.fuck. DO YOU MEAN My baby wouldn’t be okay 3 days from now? I was uncontrollably shaking at this point and I was alone.
I parked in the hospital parking lot. I called Jimmy 12 times. He was at work and he answered, “Babe I’m working.” Yeah, I know. “Jimmy, I’m I’m I’m I’m I’m..they told me to come to the hospital they are inducing me now” I was sobbing. I called my mom. I felt so helpless. I was alone, scared and I had no idea what the fuck was happening. Due to Covid my mom couldn’t come, I was only allowed one person so she stayed on the phone with me as I walked into the hospital. I was shaking like a leaf as I was greeted by staff. I told them I was told to come to the hospital and needed to go to the labor and delivery floor. The lady, who was an older woman, was so sweet and took my hand. She could clearly see I was upset and scared. She tried to reassure me by walking me up to the floor and rubbed my back as we walked up. We got to the floor and I was greeted again: “Alyssa hi! We have been expecting you.” ‘You’ve been expecting me? That’s great I wasn’t expecting you until Friday’. They took me to a triage room, since there were no labor rooms available at the time. You know when you are nervous or uncomfortable you start to babble? Yeah that was me. They handed me my gown, helped me into bed, and started putting the monitors on me. Jimmy was racing home from work but I was still alone. The nurse reported her heart beat was strong and reassured me the small babies are always the fighters.
When Jimmy got home he facetimed me asking what he needed to pack for me. So on facetime we figured shit out together. He held up all the wrong things, the wrong coming home outfit, the swaddle, no matching bows…I was so upset because I should have been the one doing all that, but I appreciated him trying and helping. When Jimmy arrived to the hospital and I felt relieved since I was no longer alone. He wanted to know what was going on but I had no fucking idea what was going on. Jimmy’s aunt is a labor and delivery nurse, so naturally we had her on the phone to help us ask all the right questions. The doctor came in and mentioned that in a few hours they were going to give me Cervidil to induce me.
A few hours passed and the doctor administered the Cervidil. I couldn’t sleep, I had to call a nurse every single time I wanted to roll over or I was woken up if a monitor slipped off. At 6 a.m. the doctor came in and checked me. I was only half a centimeter dilated. That’s It!? The doctor asked if I had felt any contractions because the monitor picked some up. I hadn’t felt a damn thing. I kept thinking back to how she isn’t ready to come out. I told the doctor and nurses my concerns. They responded again with “The MFM doctor thinks she will do better outside than in.”
They then mentioned inserting a balloon. Basically it is supposed to dilate you more, and once you get to 4 cms it falls out. The problem was I needed to be more dilated so they could easily insert the balloon. I was only half a centimeter. Jimmy and I talked about it and figured we should try the balloon. Terrible, terrible terrible. The insertion hurt so badly. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” was all I heard my doctor saying on repeat. Slow tears leaked out. My one nurse was at my head and Jimmy was on the other side. After 2 tries, the doctor couldn’t seem to insert it. I wasn’t dilated enough. Finally, on the third try she got it. Jimmy hugged my head, wiped my tears away, and told me how strong I was and how good I did. Jimmy went back home to get more things. I finally felt contractions once I was alone in the triage room. I was so uncomfortable at this point. I needed something. The nurse came in and asked if I wanted a shot of morphine. You bet I do sister. That was the best few hours of my life.
They moved me into my actual room now, and I could finally shower. Morphine started to wear off a little but was feeling okay. The doctor came in to check the balloon. I hadn’t dilated as much as he would have liked so the balloon stayed in. How lovely I had this balloon inserted in me for 12 hours now. They asked me if I would like another shot of morphine, while we waited for an epidural team to arrive in my room. HELL YEAH give me that. Suddenly, I felt a warm gush. What the fuck was that? My nurse assured me it was just a little fluid. A little fluid? Then she goes “your water broke”. Contractions immediately struck my whole entire back to the point where I was screaming. So no morphine?? My nurse kept telling me the epidural was coming. She suggested getting out of bed and trying a different position. I couldn’t even walk 2 steps without screaming in pain. There was blood all over the floor. Jimmy followed me with a rag cleaning up. The nurse looked at him, “You don’t have to do that.” He followed up with, “I don’t know what else to do for her.” He called my mom and she heard me screaming. He asked, “Is this normal?” She followed with “yes”.
Contractions were about 60 seconds apart, my nurse said, “You got this, the epidural is coming. It;s 60 seconds on 60 seconds off”. I was bent over the bed and at this point, I didn’t even care, I ripped my underwear off, my whole ass out. It didn’t even matter since everyone was going to be seeing all of me anyway. I screamed how I needed to lay back down. I couldn’t even hold myself up. Jimmy helped me back into bed. I felt like I was full blown exorcisming on this bed. Back fully arched, I squirmed all over. I screamed so hard my vocal cords felt like they were gonna fall out. Jimmy threw himself on top of me. I screamed into his chest and bit his shirt. I had never felt pain like this. My nurse told us the epidural people are in the room next door. I was next, I just had to fight through this pain. She then delivered the news: “So they aren’t coming.” I looked at her like I misheard her. She said, “The epidural team is getting pulled into an emergency in the ER they aren’t coming,” I said, “Is this not an emergency?” She responded,“No this is not an emergency” her response was met with a scream of pain in her face. I could start to feel myself pushing, my body’s natural response was to push because I had nothing stopping me from doing that.
My nurse checked how far along I was dilating. She brought the spotlight back and I heard. “Okay yeah wow I see the hair, this baby is coming right NOW”. I dilated to 7 centimeters in 20 minutes. She got on the phone, “I NEED DR. LO HERE NOW THIS BABY IS COMING FAST!” All of a sudden another nurse ran in, my doctor sprinted in and they were gowning up so fast. Next thing I knew my ass was propped up and my knees were open. They tried to explain to me not to push until told. I began pushing. I had Jimmy on one side of my head watching and holding my hand encouraging me. I gave a push and she would come and go right back in. My nurses were like let’s go, you got this! I had my own personal cheerleaders. Finally Jimmy looked at me and went “Lyss one.big.push. You got this” and let out the hardest, and longest push. I wasn’t breathing, I was screaming so hard and loud. I heard a cry that wasn’t mine for once and Olivia Rae was put on my chest on January 19th 2022 at 8:47 pm.
Holy fuck. My nurses cheered. My one nurse, Lindsey looked at me, “You just fucking did that, no pain meds, no epidural you just fucking did that!” I Just did that. Instantly the pain was gone. I looked down at Olivia and Jimmy and I just cried. She was perfect. Jimmy hugged me and kissed me telling me how strong I was. Next it was time for the placenta. They told me to focus on Olivia and I felt like I was giving birth all over again. I won’t go into that. They took my placenta away to test it, to figure out why it was IGR. There is some conspiracy that they might have gotten my due date wrong. They ran tests on Olivia, which she passed. She had to have no NICU time. She was so strong for only being 4 lbs. 12.7 oz…yup I said it 4 lbs. Nothing was wrong with her and she would have been fine until my induction day. She was just meant to be small. We didn’t like the word “small” , we preferred petite!
Jimmy was on the phone after we moved into a maternity room after Olivia was born with someone, he thought I was resting and i heard, “She is so badass, she did it with no pain meds it was amazing she is so strong, I am so proud of her,” I smiled because I couldn’t believe I did that. I was so proud of myself. I honestly couldn’t picture her any other way. Looking back, I think I understand what they meant when they said she would do better on the outside than in. She is thriving now. She is in all her percentiles, making her milestones everyday. I replay those few days in my head often. That was the coolest thing I have ever done in my life, and probably the coolest thing I’ll ever do. Am I crazy if I say, even after all that pain,I would do it all over again and again? I wouldn’t change a thing. I have this perfect petite, not small, baby girl. I would take that pain x 10 to be able to have her all over again.
SOOOO I might get a lot of “is this girl serious” after this but here we are. I got off birth control, because at the time I was serious in my fitness and I was reading studies and posts about how hormonal birth control can suppress your muscle growth. I wasn’t gaining weight or any muscle so I figured let’s give it a try, shall we Miss. Alyssa, you smarty-pants you. I did my research, Google said a person can’t get pregnant 6 months to a year once they get off the pill. So if Google said it, it must be true. Jimmy and I were being safe, at least I thought we were – haha. I noticed I was peeing a lot more frequently. I was waking up several times a night. It was a little ridiculous, but I just thought I was this hydrated queen drinking my gallon of water a day (yes you go girl). Then, I noticed my boobs were growing but that didn’t make sense since normally when working out, the first thing to go when you lose weight is your boobs—well whatever carry on. Then….my period was late. Only by a week. I figured my body was trying to regulate after coming off the pill. IT’S ONLY BEEN A MONTH relax. Jimmy randomly texted me while I was at work about having a feeling I should take a test. I reassured him that there was absolutely no way I could be pregnant and then he said, “idk babe I feel like you should take a test I just have this feeling” and I’m like, “nah babe were good no way I am pregnant no way.” That thought kind of sat in my head for a while, “Am I pregnant? No? Maybe?” So I was at work on the Friday of Memorial Day weekend, stocked up on my White Claws and hot dogs. Anyway, I was on my lunch break at work and I figured I should go get a pregnancy test…why not? I mean I wasn’t pregnant. Let’s just ease my mind a bit since Jimmy so rudely disrupted my mindset for the day. I went to Rite Aid and the cashier lady looked at me and I was like “I’m not pregnant” she said, “mhm good luck honey” –haha great… I got back to work, I went into the bathroom, I took the test, I was so confident I wasn’t pregnant I was not even taking it seriously. I had taken pregnancy tests before. How was this time any different? I washed my hands not even paying attention because I knew it’s going to have only 1 line. I looked down and I saw 2 lines….Two. DARK. pink lines. No way…I grabbed that second test out of the box so fast I barely had anything left in me. Same thing, 2 dark pink lines and when I say dark I mean like this thing is laughing at me like you are pregnant pregnant girl. I remember just staring at the tests shaking. Why did I do this at work? I’m fucking pregnant. That was such a surreal moment.
I know everyone’s situations are different but I think we can all agree how disbelieving it is when seeing those positive pregnancy tests. It’s like you’re looking in the mirror, you look normal, you’ve been doing all your normal everyday things and it’s like the whole time, you didn’t even know that a baby was growing inside of you. It’s like at that moment, looking at those tests everything changes. I just find that SO crazy!
So back to me lol at this point I was uncontrollably shaking. I FaceTimed Jimmy. I held the tests up with tears in my eyes but I was shaking my phone so much he couldn’t really see what’s going on but he knew. He hung up, what the fuck Jimmy? He called me on the phone. “I am assuming those are positive”. I couldn’t even speak. I’m like “uhuh uh uh uh 2 lines, uh dark lines, I peed on a stick and 2 lines showed up, uh uh uh”. He told me to calm down, relax, everything was okay. We will talk when we get home. RELAX?! How could I relax? A HUMAN IS GROWING INSIDE ME AS WE SPEAK!!! Now, my lunch break was over. I went back to my desk and I couldn’t even sit. I just stared into space pacing around until my coworker noticed I didn’t touch my lunch, which is so unlike me. I needed 3:00 pm now. Finally, it was 2:58 and I ran out of that building so fast. I rushed to my car and I called my friend. She said she was going to bring me a Clear Blue test as if the other two tests I took at work weren’t enough validation. I got home and she shortly rushed through the door after me, and handed me the test.
I decided I was going to wait until Jimmy got home, which I should have done from the beginning. Finally he got home and were just staring at each other and I felt so awkward I tried asking him about his day, “so how was your day?” and he just looked at me and I followed with “Was it good? That’s good, nice yeah I’m just here like being pregnant no big deal.” So I took the third test, this one was digital so it would either say pregnant or not pregnant. On the box it said it should take up to 5 minutes for results. By the time I pulled my pants up it read ‘pregnant’. It was maybe 30 seconds. We put all 3 tests on the table and we all just looked at them and Jimmy goes “yeah no denying this one, you’re pregnant pregnant”. (picture for reference those lines were DARK) Wow, I wasn’t just pregnant I was like very pregnant and I couldn’t even believe it. After going over my period tracker app, if it’s correct I would’ve been about 5 weeks pregnant. My app showed me ovulation days and it looked like Jimmy hit right on the money under the one day it said “VERY LIKELY TO GET PREGNANT” and boy was it right. I called my doctor that Monday, and they told me they couldn’t bring me in until I was 8 weeks pregnant so I scheduled my appointment and I just had to deal with this for the next 3 weeks, holding in this secret until I could have doctor confirmation.
I had my appointment and the doctor confirmed I was in fact pregnant. Guess there really was no denying this, the next step was to tell our families – which went better than I expected but still was the most nerve racking thing I had ever experienced besides child birth itself. We decided to tell Jimmy’s mom first because I needed to figure out the right way to tell my parents because, “hey I know Jimmy and I just got back together but surprise I’m pregnant!”, didn’t seem appropriate for this very serious matter. We pulled up to Jimmy’s mom’s house and I was rethinking this whole thing. How about we try telling her again another time, I wasn’t ready, because even though this was a real thing once you started telling people about it, it turned into reality like this is real real. We were sitting at the kitchen counter. They noticed I wasn’t drinking. Jimmy’s mom (Kelley) said, “Do you want a drink?” I said, “No I am okay, I’m gonna drive us home”. She looked suspicious because normally we would just sleep there and I could tell that’s exactly what she was thinking. Finally, Jimmy said “Look, Alyssa and I have something to tell you.” They froze in their tracks. They just stared at us and I just looked down at my fingers and picked at my nails because I couldn’t even look up. I was too scared. “Alyssa is pregnant.” No one said anything. They both turned their heads to me and I just cried. Kelley left the room and I felt nauseous. Jimmy’s aunt came over and hugged me, rubbed my head and whispered “Everything is okay, just give her a minute. It’s a lot to take in, just breathe”. So I focused on my breathing until she walked back into the room. She looked at me, grabbed my face, kissed my cheek and then brought me in for the tightest hug I had ever experienced. She asked me the basics, how are you feeling, how far along are you…and the running joke is my original due date was Jimmy’s aunt’s birthday so the first thing she said is “If you have that baby on TT’s birthday I swear to God” and instantly everything was normal. Jimmy, his aunt, and his mom danced around the basement with “Isn’t She Lovely” blaring, singing their hearts out. I was very relieved…for now until I figured out how to tell my parents.
I was busy with work and my family was busy all of the time, taking my younger siblings to different sports, running errands, and with work of their own. It was hard to find a time for Jimmy and I to go over. I texted my mom, “Hey mom would love to find a time for Jimmy and I to come over.” She kept going back and forth with me. Finally she texted me, “what is so important? I know you guys are back together, are you pregnant or something?” Holy shit how did she know that!? The weekend before I found out I was pregnant she apparently had a few drinks and talked about how she couldn’t wait to be a grandmother and how she was so excited that she kept talking about it so much that my step dad texted me, “are you pregnant or something? Mom won’t stop talking about being a Grandmom.” I looked at that text at that time and laughed and thought to myself, wtf I am absolutely not pregnant she’s drunk. Long story short I was pregnant…mom intuituion is a real fucking thing like she knew without even knowing she knew lol. Anyway, I stared at her text, “what are you pregnant or something?” I didn’t answer because I needed to choose what to say wisely but like she knew and suddenly texts started firing through:
“Alyssa”
“Alyssa”
“Alyssa Marie”
“ALYSSA”
“You’re fucking pregnant”
All I could say was “Mom, just let us come over after work and talk.”
Jimmy and I went over, we talked for a while and it all felt okay. Truly I was not sure what I was stressing about. Maybe because Jimmy and I broke up and I wasn’t sure what the future had in store for us, especially with now a baby coming into our lives. My mom’s only thing was, she wanted to make sure we would be okay whether we were together or not, because a baby does not fix a relationship. She knew what I always wanted. I didn’t want marriage. I told him not to propose to me while I was pregnant. That was a huge thing for me. No…I didn’t want a ring but, what I wanted was a family, together, not apart. I didn’t want my kids to go through what my mom and my biological dad went through, the constant back and forth between houses and every other weekends spent with his side or the splitting holidays, THAT SUCKS, and my mom and Jimmy both knew that was not what I wanted for my life or my daughter’s. Jimmy poured his heart out and let them know that what happened in the past, he was going to fix it and create the perfect life for me and our daughter together.
Looking back at those moments, telling our families this terrifying news actually turned out to be the best news that happened to ALL of us. All of the fear and nerves I had are now replaced with happiness and excitement. Time goes on, Olivia is officially here and my perfect little family is together.
Thanks for reading friends, stay tuned for my shit show of a L&D story…
September 28, 2021. I was late. “I’m definitely not pregnant”, I tell myself as I rip open a test. It never happens on the first try. Positive. This cannot be right. I head over to the Target and get three more tests. Positive. Positive. Positive. Ellie Mae and Hank now think I’m insane because I’m sitting there crying and hugging them. Brit’s at work and I wanted to tell him in person, so instead I drove over to the cemetery because Pop-pop would definitely want to hear this. The rest of the day was agonizing. That night, laying in bed, I plop a test on Brit’s chest. Then three more. “I don’t want to look but if there are this many I feel like it can’t be negative.” He was right. The next 4 months go by perfectly. We start the new year in a bliss knowing that everything is going well – we have a beautiful, healthy, baby boy on the way. February comes around and I start to feel under the weather. I told myself it was just a cold, but that cold then had me bed ridden for 2 days. Finally, I said I would test for Covid. Positive. I’m crying again but this time it’s not happy tears. This time I’m scared. The doctor tells me that I should start taking baby aspirin every night to try and prevent blood clots, which are common when it comes to Covid. The next couple months are scary, but I try not to think about it. We have a baby shower, we get the nursery ready, we take a birth class, and I take my baby aspirin every night.
April 21, 2022. Brit and I went to the doctor so I could get an ultrasound at 34 weeks because of Covid. My doctor wanted to do an extra growth scan to make sure the baby was still on track. He was, and he was ready to come out because no matter how hard the ultrasound tech tried, she couldn’t get him to move his head away from my pelvis. This should have been my second warning. My first warning should have been the sporadic contractions I had been having since the day before, but wrote off as back pain. I’m not in labor. We got home and Brit went to work. I, still dealing with the “back pain” because I’m not in labor, decided to try a yoga class, but it didn’t help. I took a shower, but it didn’t help. I walked to the grocery store thinking movement had to make it stop. Guess what? It didn’t. I made dinner that afternoon just trying to get my mind off the now pretty constant pain I was feeling. Back pain. Not labor pains. Brit got home and we were sitting on the couch after we ate, he told me he had to go to Home Depot. Great, maybe that will help. I went to the bathroom before we left because obviously I have to pee all the time. Blood. I’m sitting there stunned trying to keep it together knowing I won’t. Brit walks by and I say “Something’s wrong..” I started crying, sobbing actually. “I’m not supposed to be bleeding, it’s too early.” I get out through the sobs. Brit is trying to console me but he’s equally as concerned because it’s all over his face. I call the doctor’s office and got the on-call nurse. She tells me to stand by because she was going to have the on-call doctor give me a call back. We spent a couple agonizing minutes in the bathroom before my phone started ringing. “How much blood?” “Enough to concern me.” “Just come into the hospital and we can check you out.” and we hang up. We put the dogs in their kennels and tell them we will be right back because I’m not in labor. We don’t bring the almost packed bags and we definitely don’t leave with the mindset that the next time we are at home we would have a baby. On the way to the hospital I’m on edge, crying, trying to ease my mind, I’m not in labor. I confuse Brit when the words, “Damn I forgot to get gas.” Come out of my mouth. We get to the hospital and thanks to me and our birth class we know where to park. Into the ER we go because the main lobby is closed at this point of the night. We tell the receptionist we need to get to labor and delivery. She said she would have someone come out and walk us there. They offer me a wheelchair but I don’t take it because I’m not in labor. Wheelchairs are for women who are about to have a baby and I still have 6 weeks. The walk feels like years, the nurse asks me “is this your first?” “Yes.” “Are you excited?” “I’m not in labor, I’m just here for a checkup” (at 7:30 at night), she was silent after that. We went through the huge doors marked labor and delivery and were taken to a room. The nurse is nice but she’s asking me questions that make me think we’re going to be here for a while, but we’re not because I’m not in labor. I’m filling out papers, answering questions, and damn my back hurts like a bitch. She hands me a gown and socks and tells me they are going to check me out. I get my gown on and get in bed, the nurse puts on a heartbeat monitor for the baby and a contraction monitor for me. I’m not having contractions though, just back pain, more consistent back pain. She tells me there are no contractions (I know) but she’s going to move the monitor because it might not be picking them up. The monitor gets moved and I hear “Oh wow, you’re having a big one right now.” It’s just back pain. Then the moment of truth, here comes my doctor to give me a cervical check and an ultrasound. I don’t know how long it took because all I remember is her looking at the nurse and whispering, “She’s 4 centimeters.” Fuck. She walks to the side of the bed in between Brit and I. “Well, you’re 4 centimeters dilated. You’re having a baby.” “Today?” “Today or tomorrow.” “So I have to sleep here?” “Yes.” “I told my dogs I would be right back. I have to call my mom so she can go get them because they are going to be so scared.” Also, I’m not in labor. Meanwhile Brit looks like he just saw a ghost, he paced the room for about 2 hours after that. We called our parents and my sister to let them know it wasn’t back pain. We have to get the nurse on the phone to corroborate our story and let them know this is not a false alarm. The next few hours were weird, Brit had to unhook my monitors and walk me to the bathroom every time I had to pee, talk about love. We were trying to joke around but how can you when you have NICU doctors coming in to tell you that as soon as your baby is born he is going to get whisked away, you might be able to hold him when he’s born before we bring him to the NICU but we’ll have to see. She tells us that she’s not worried because 34 weeks is long enough and she sees it all the time. The one thing about a NICU baby is their lungs need time to form, so I had to get 2 shots, spaced 12 hours apart…in my ass. First shot was at 9pm, so I knew I had to make it to 9am which shouldn’t be a problem since I’m not in labor. Brit tries but fails to fall asleep on the super comfy couch they have in the room for him. About 1am I’ve had enough. I ask for my epidural because this is when I’ve finally accepted that this was happening and I wasn’t going to stop it, I am in labor. All I have to say about epidurals is that they are magic because once I had it I didn’t feel a damn thing, back pain who? It did however make me super nauseous. So instead of feeding me ice chips, Brit had to keep holding my hair back while I puked into doggy bags.
April 22, 2022. Morning is met with a popsicle for breakfast, which I swiftly puke up. My mom got there just in time for the second shot in my ass, phew. After the shot they tell me they are going to try and let me dilate more on my own instead of breaking my water. We sit around for a couple more hours then it happens, one of the doctors comes in for a cervical exam, “Fully dilated. Give me the hook.” “I’m sorry, the what?” My question is met with a gush of warm water. He says it could be any time now so naturally I start to freak out because I definitely don’t want to push out a baby. Too late. I’m told that I’ll know when it’s time to push, and boy was she right about that. Once it was time it was like a NASCAR pitstop in the room: the bed transformed, the nurses brought in a bunch of NICU things, no less than 10 nurses were running about preparing and scrubbing in. Then it happens, it’s time to push. I get a crash course in breathing – I didn’t know I needed. “Deep breath in, hold for 10 seconds while you bear down, breathe out.” I can do that. The doctor comes in and tells me at my next contraction I’ll push. It wasn’t what I expected, it was tiring, don’t get me wrong but it wasn’t like the movies. I wasn’t in pain. I didn’t scream. I was watching “Crikey It’s The Irwin’s”. The doctor would ask me each time if I wanted to do an extra push and every time I said yes because I just wanted to see what my baby would look like. Also I really wanted a sandwich. In between pushes it’s like I have a room full of my own cheerleaders because everyone is hyping me up telling me how great I’m doing. Brit’s holding a leg and has decided to watch the whole thing which is super impressive. At 12:58pm, a baby. Everyone says they hear the baby cry and it’s the best sound ever, but I can honestly say I didn’t. There was so much happening in that moment I really don’t remember a thing. I did get to hold him before they whisked him away. It was surreal, super exciting, but also terrifying. I got my sandwich after that.
April 22, 2022 – May 4, 2022. Nothing can prepare you to visit your baby while they are covered in cords with monitors all around. He was regulating his temperature and he was breathing on his own. It was just eating without a tube he needed to work on. I told myself to take it easy because a lot of people have it way worse than us. We should feel lucky. I know now that trauma is trauma and I allowed myself to make room for it, let myself be upset by it. For 2 weeks we had to leave our baby at the hospital each night. For 2 weeks we sat in the NICU rocking chairs holding our baby, making sure not to get too far away from his monitors. For 2 weeks I cried because I was supposed to keep him safe, if only for another 6 weeks.
My placenta was the culprit. Bitch. Placental abruption they tell me. There was a clot that made it start breaking away from the uterine wall so my body put me into labor. There are some theories about why it happened, but I won’t be sharing. And if you think you have a theory keep it to yourself because no offense but I truly don’t care to hear it. I’m just telling my story as it happened in a very vulnerable way.
I also quickly want to shout out the Bryn Mawr Hospital Labor and delivery, maternity, and NICU nurses for being the best of the best.
Let’s get the boring intros out of the way shall we. Hi, I’m Nikki, i’m 27, and I had my baby on April 22, 2022 (shout-out earth day). Instead of unloading my birth story trauma on you right off the bat here’s three fun facts to get to know me: One, I am married to my amazing, wonderful, yet needs the covers on the bed to be perfect or he freaks out husband. We got married on Halloween 2020 because if you’re not getting married during a global pandemic no one will remember it. We are 100% the annoying couple who grew up on the same street and we now use that as a personality trait instead of a cute story. My husband’s favorite quote is “I’ve known my wife since the day she was born” and most people don’t find it as endearing as he thinks it is. Two, I am that dog mom. My dogs were my first babies and if you have a problem with that then I have a problem with you. Their names are Ellie Mae (white lab) and Hank (black lab) and they are absolutely in love with the new baby which is the cutest thing to watch. Three, I have worked with kids my whole life between nannying, babysitting, and teaching but I never thought I wanted children of my own. Now that I have one I can safely say, boy was I wrong. This journey has been exhausting but the most fun I’ve ever had and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Allow me to introduce myself, hey! My names Alyssa, I’m 25 years old and I had my daughter, Olivia Rae on January 19, 2022. You will slowly get to know me, my life, family, etc,. But here’s a little snippet about me. To start, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, but I actually have known him since elementary school. I had the biggest crush on him. I used to write “ALYSSA LONG” “I LOVE JIMMY LONG” on all of my notebooks, but he didn’t like me, he actually used to make fun of me…oh how times have changed. I guess the saying my mom told me when I was younger “if boys tease you, it means they like you”, was in fact true for us. Jimmy served 4 years active duty in the military, including a tour in Afghanistan. Almost 2 years of our relationship were long distance, but now we are living your everyday civilian life. I knew I always wanted to be a mom, growing up with younger siblings…one being 10 years old now, it just felt fitting. I can say I never thought I would be a mom so soon, but I am so happy it happened when it did. I might sound cliché when I say this, but she truly was the best thing to happen to me. You’ll learn more about me as you read our posts, I hope you enjoy them as much as we love writing them.
ForTheMoms 