Friday, October 7, 2022 is a date that I must have said a thousand times; the day our baby girl was due… and then October 7th came and went.

While I am 100% in love with my daughter, I did not enjoy being pregnant. I stopped sleeping through the night without getting up to pee at 7 weeks, was sick the first 20 weeks, and just felt so uncomfortable by 32 weeks. So naturally, once I made it to October 7th and was 40 weeks I was READY for my girl to come. I laid low on my due date and kind of soaked it all in, and then in the late afternoon went to get my flu shot. Talk about procrastination!

Saturday, October 8th I was determined to get things moving. I had an induction scheduled for the 12th but I was adamant that I would not be pregnant that long. If you’ve been pregnant then you’ve heard all the ways people say can induce labor. Having sex, eating spicy foods, drinking castor oil (my aunts kept recommending this, and each time I said “that’s a no for me, dawg), curb walking, long walks, etc. I was up before 7am that day, asked Pat to help me help things get moving (😜) and then decided we should go for a walk. I tried curb walking, it’s not easy. Walking at all when you’re 40+ weeks pregnant is not easy. But within 70 minutes of having sex, I had my first contraction while on our walk. We decided to go out to breakfast and while there I started timing my contractions.

Contractions are weird. At first they just feel like cramps and you’re like, “is this what it feels like?” You aren’t sure if you need to be timing it, but you know you feel *something.* My contractions were tolerable for about an hour, and then they got worse. I showered and got in bed because I remember hearing in my birth class that you need to rest. So rest I did! But, after another 2.5 hours the contractions got more intense. I went downstairs to the couch and tried to watch a movie with Pat. I think it was a movie with Nicholas Cage where he steals cars – I wasn’t actually paying any attention. Come 3:30pm I was in a lot of pain, bordering on agony. I held out until 6:30pm and then Pat looked at me and said “I think it’s time to call.”

The drive to the hospital was hell. My contractions lasted over a minute and came every 3 minutes. We didn’t have any traffic, luckily, because I would have been screaming if we were going slow. I hadn’t really eaten since breakfast so we stopped at Chik-Fil-A so I could get some nuggets. IYKYK. Pat and I thought it was a smart idea to get me fed, but I only could get 4 nuggets down and then ended up throwing them up an hour later. (Side note: we’ve called Stevie our little “chicken nuggie” since she was born!)

We were checked into the hospital by 8pm and at that point my contractions felt like they were never ending. Once I was in the delivery room they checked to see how dilated I was – only 3cm – and then  it wasn’t long before my nurse Dawn (an angel) was pricking me to get my IV in. It took Dawn, another nurse, and an anesthesiologist 5 tries before they successfully got the IV on the inside of my right elbow. Very much not an ideal spot. I was bruised on my hand and wrist for 3 weeks. After that came the epidural and then came the sweet relief I had been craving the past 12 hours. I’m in awe of the mommas who deliver without an epidural or meds!

Shortly after the epidural I was 6cm dilated so they broke my water and started me on Pitocin. About two hours later (it’s now 2am) I was fully dilated and was told I could start pushing when I felt pressure in my butt, as if I needed to poop. I waited 2.5 hours for that pressure and all that changed was that my lower back started to really hurt. I told Dawn and she said it was go time! I was freaking out on the inside but I also was feeling my contractions so I was ready to get this girl out of me. I was not expecting to feel contractions since I had an epidural, so not only was I sleep deprived and in pain, but I was pissed. I do not like when things don’t go according to my plan, and my plan was to get an epidural so I didn’t feel the pain of childbirth. Dawn coached me through pushing and after an hour and 15 or so minutes, Stevie was almost here. Her head was out, and then it wasn’t, and Dawn said “bye Stevie!” and kind of giggled. I panicked, thinking something was wrong, not knowing the baby’s head can come out and then get sucked back in. Wild. Pat loves telling this part of the story. Five or so more minutes of pushing and she was born! 

Don’t get me wrong, pushing was absolute torture and I hated every single second of it. It was so exhausting. I was psyching myself out and sort of wanted to hear the nurse say I needed a C-section. The pain was not something I was prepared for, given that I thought the epidural would make it smooth sailing. But, in the end, my sweet Stevie Mae was the result of the pain. She shocked us all by only weighing 6 pounds 11.9 ounces. Pat and I, and our entire families, were pretty positive she’d be 8 pounds or more. And she had a lot of dark hair! We were also shocked by that. Pat and I were pretty convinced she’d be a redhead. But, when the light hits just right, I see red.

Pushing a baby out freaking hurts, even with medication, apparently. The recovery from tearing is not fun in the least. Who would have thought I’d be talking to my friends about my favorite pads, or which nipple pads to get, or how amazing lactation consultants are!? Not going to lie, my “postpartum must haves” list on Amazon is legit! 

Stevie is now 7 weeks old and I’m obsessed with her. I don’t know how I ever lived without her! People say once you have a baby you forget about the bad parts of pregnancy and delivery. I’m still waiting to forget those parts, because I’d love Stevie to be a big sister one day but mama needs to have amnesia in order to accomplish that goal. For now, I’m enjoying all of the snuggles and contact naps while I still can because I know I will blink and these days will be gone. 🤍💗

We are always taught to take care of our bodies, love them, embrace them, because they are the only ones we have, right? I mean my body grew a freaking baby. That’s incredible and that’s what I tell myself everyday while navigating my new body….my post baby body. I use the word “navigating” because that’s what it feels like to me, learning my new body. Learning how to love and embrace it again but I’ll tell you what, this shit is HARD. I can’t speak for all you moms, everyone’s bodies are different, so I am only speaking on my postpartum body struggle and I hope you can relate to this in some way and start loving your postpartum body.

Do you ever feel like your head isn’t attached to your body? Like you’re looking in a mirror and obviously it’s you, you see it’s you, but it’s not YOU at the same time? That is the best way I can describe this, does that make sense? For me, I was a fit queen. I was so used to seeing one body type that I could never imagine my body looking like anything else…let me explain. I was in the gym everyday, on top of teaching my cycle classes and on top of all my nutrition. So yeah I had the abs, I had the muscles, I was THAT girl. I was so proud of that body. I worked HARD for that body. Then I found out I was pregnant, we will go into that story another time but I didn’t look any different at first. Months went on as they do and my boobs blew up first, then the little belly came, my hips went out, but you know what is weird, I wasn’t mad or struggling with the pregnancy body because it’s inevitable. Like my mind knew, “hey there is literally nothing you can do about this so it’s fine.” Like duh, your body changes to grow this baby, fine. I also was still fitting in all of my clothes so nothing really was changing for me. Then the time came, I gave birth naturally (not by choice) and I’ll go back to what I said before: OUR BODIES ARE INCREDIBLE! Anyway…I remember when I went to the bathroom for the first time after baby. I looked in the mirror at my stomach and I was like “uh hello…she isn’t in there anymore why do you still look like that?” It’s like my head immediately went back to my pre-pregnancy body. It wasn’t registering what my next chapter was going to be because I just closed the pregnancy one. The next few weeks were rough, on top of becoming a new mom I was struggling mentally with my body and when I say struggling I mean tears almost everyday. It started to effect my sex life. I did not even want my boyfriend to touch me or even LOOK at me because in my head, if I didn’t think my body was beautiful, why would he? (we will revisit this topic)

 Eventually it got easier, day by day. My daughter was born in the winter so we weren’t leaving the house much, so sweats everyday was the outfit of choice. I didn’t even look at my clothes at first. Then I did because I was feeling good at that moment and I thought it would be a good idea to try on my size 2 jeans from when I was 125 pounds. Why not? TERRIBLE IDEA, if you are thinking about doing that just don’t, you heard it from me…save yourself that heart break please, because when I tell you, and I am not exaggerating…I went into a full blown Britney Spears breakdown. I pulled all my clothes out of the drawers, threw them all over my freshly clean room, ripped my closet apart. I sat there on these piles and piles of clothes and cried because I knew my body was different. After I cleaned up, got rid of the clothes I knew didn’t fit me anymore, I went to the mall. I grabbed a couple different sized jeans and when I tell you I was in and out of that dressing room 7 times because I had to slowly keep climbing up that size chart…it killed me. Again it’s like my head was not registering what was happening. I remember texting Nikki so upset I felt almost helpless. Like why won’t you fit, she’s 4 months old now, like isn’t that enough time? Size 6 was the winner and I’ve never been anything more than a 4 so it hit me pretty hard. But what was I going to do?

Let’s fast forward 6 months now. I’ve accepted my jean’s size because I’ve learned it is not the end of the world anymore. I slowly am coming around to the idea that I look a lot better with some meat on me. My body is different. It is never going to be the same body, but I can embrace it and make it an even better body. I created LIFE. I mean I must give myself a break. I look at Olivia everyday and I remember I.DID.THAT.

I won’t lie, I still struggle every now and then, but I am finally accepting and loving my new body. But Guys I did a thing….me who was struggling so badly with my body stepped out of my comfort zone and I did a BOUDOIR PHOTOSHOOT! Like I was practically naked (and naked but no spicy pics for you guys lol) in front of a camera body exposed, little belly pouch hanging out, thighs jiggling and all. After I saw the pictures I cried because I looked sexy, I looked pretty, I felt so much emotion looking at these pictures that I forgot how badly I was putting down my new body. Like why did I do that? LIKE LOOK AT YOU! It made me think how I spent the last 6 months hating myself and my body not thinking I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, I didn’t love myself enough. Imagine if we all took the time early on in postpartum to embrace who we are and what we did. How many of us could really get ahead of our postpartum anxiety and depression. I am not saying the boudoir photoshoot cured my postpartum struggle, but damn, it for sure made something click in this hard head of mine. SO, moms, what do we do….we rebuild. We learn to take care, love, and embrace our new bodies. You grew a freaking baby, that’s incredible. 

I hope you all start loving your postpartum body!

Always, Alyssa

This was going to be a post about what to take to the beach. But I’ve decided to take it in a different direction because this is my blog and I’ll do whatever I want. How many of us have gone to the beach postpartum and looked at ourselves in the mirror beforehand in horror at the fact that you have to wear a bathing suit? *Frantically raises hand*

You see all of your friends who haven’t had babies with their tight tummies and perky tits and you think to yourself well fuck. I’m not here to tell you to love your new body, how could I when I’m still working on that myself. I’m just here to let you know that I, among so many others, can empathize with you, because to be honest it sucks. Not to mention that “dad bods” are totally acceptable but “mom bods” are a no go. You’ll bounce back, they say, not realizing the effect it has on you every time they say it. Like what you are right now is not and never will be enough, because if we don’t have our pre-baby body back within 2 months, it means we just gave up on ourselves. Take care of the baby, make yourself healthy foods, workout, if not it’s “wow she really let herself go”. No bitch, she had a human.

You go into stores and stand in front of the mirror for 15 minutes looking at your new reality in a bathing suit and you think how could my husband/boyfriend/fiancé/partner still love me like this. You decide to go online instead of buying them in the store because you think maybe they’ll fit better and you’ll feel confident enough to take your shirt off once your feet hit the sand. Maybe it works, maybe you get them in and look in the mirror and get a boost of confidence. Maybe that confidence is shattered when you get on the beach and instantly start searching for other “mom bods” so you can be around people you’re comfortable with.

It’s not fair, society’s standards of beauty. It’s not fair that we are told to be a certain way, act a certain way, look a certain way. Did you know that 12.8 % of postpartum mothers suffer from clinical eating disorders? No? Didn’t think so, we’re not allowed to talk about it. You’re supposed to be happy with your body because it birthed a beautiful baby, but also omg are you eating a cookie..? 

Diet culture… lol. Here’s a list of the best foods to lose the baby weight, take this pill, supplement, appetite suppressant. What? New moms are already vulnerable. We are going through hormone changes like you wouldn’t believe. We think that maybe it will help, maybe society will love me more if I spend the $80 for the vitamins to make my tummy flat. We say older people get preyed on by scammers but mamas we are just as impressionable. We might not be draining our bank accounts for an Arabian prince in need of help but we are listening to these companies as they try to tell us who to be and what to look like. 

Even the positive comments get ya. “Wow you look great for having a baby”, “you bounced back quick”. All insinuating that what you were wasn’t enough. Thank God you’re back now because damn you looked terrible while you were growing life in your body. They don’t always mean it like that but when you’re struggling with how you look that’s exactly how you take it. 

How can we try and get back on track postpartum? I’ve thought about this a lot. I tried to think of easy things that we can all try in our daily routine to be more mindful, and comfortable in this postpartum life.  Ditch the weight loss plan because diets don’t work anyway. Try a social media detox or even just trying to be aware of the people you follow, do they make you feel better or worse when you look at their page? The scale is not your friend, break up with her. Have realistic expectations for your postpartum self, expectations that lift you up not tear you down. Journal, get it all out on the page so that it doesn’t have to take up as much room in your head. Know that what you’re feeling is totally normal. There is an army of us out there trying to fight through the battle that is postpartum. Take it one day at a time, be kind to yourself, oh and eat the fucking cookie. 

I know you don’t believe it because I certainly don’t, but you are beautiful, you are strong, and your body did the coolest thing of all. Find a mom tribe, and love them hard because this is hard. This is the hardest thing in the world. But we get the privilege of also knowing it’s also the most amazing. Your tummy may sag, and your thighs may jiggle, you may have pimples, or stretch marks, or hair loss, but you also have a tiny human who looks at you like you’re the best thing in the world. 

You don’t have to love your postpartum body right now, but don’t hate it either.

xoxo, nikki

References For Postpartum Body Image: 

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00737-016-0619-3

Yoga is magic. It releases GABA, dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins and serotonin which make you melt into a puddle of happiness after practicing. Instead of falling into the Tiger King trap during Covid I decided to get my yoga teacher certification because I truly believe yoga is medicine, as I myself am a practicing yogini. So while I can’t tell you who Carol Baskin is, I can tell you all the benefits of Baddah Konasana. I am very excited to be able to tell you not only the benefits of doing yoga while pregnant but also some poses that can just help your achy body feel better even for a moment. I practiced yoga through my entire pregnancy and I can honestly say, I never experienced aches or pains besides an unrelated displaced rib that didn’t have enough time to heal pre-pregnancy. I will say while yoga is beneficial, you should talk to your Dr. before starting any exercise program while pregnant. Lockdown wasn’t long enough for me to get my doctorate so I can only offer suggestions not actual medical advice.*

BENEFITS OF DOING YOGA WHILE PREGNANT:

Reduces Stress And Anxiety:

Ujjayi breath, also known as ocean breath, is what you practice during yoga. It’s how you connect your breath with the poses you perform during a flow. It’s perfect for labor because it releases tension through your body and lowers your anxiety levels. I know what you’re thinking, when you’re in the middle of a contraction the last thing you’re going to do is yoga breath. But hear me out, maybe give it a try and just curse me out the whole time, I won’t take it personally. To perform ujjayi breath first, breathe in slowly through your nose, expand your belly as your lungs fill up, breathe out through your nose and compress your stomach until all the air is out. Yoga also encourages relaxation, so as long as you’re not a beginner in an advanced class, like my sweet husband and cousins tried to do, you should feel really relaxed. 

Improves Sleep:

Sleep while you can, they say. Well how are you supposed to sleep when you’re anxious, sore, and simply cannot get comfortable with a watermelon attached to your stomach? The answer is yoga. 

Increases Strength:

Feeling clumsy? When you’re pregnant your center of gravity shifts since you have a watermelon attached to your stomach. Luckily for you, yoga can help build your strength and balance through holding poses and using your core. This also strengthens your pelvic floor which is important to have when you’re pushing out a human being.

Relieves Aches And Pains:

Pregnancy pillows, heat packs, Tylenol will anything stop the madness? Yoga will. Exercise in general is important in pregnancy but yoga also helps with headaches, back pain, fatigue, body aches, and nausea.

Connection With Baby:

At first I’ll admit I thought this was insane. How can I connect with a person who isn’t even here with me? I will not admit, I was the insane one for thinking I couldn’t connect with him. When you are on your mat you’re super in tune with your breathing and body awareness. This in turn can make you feel super close to your baby. It’s like your time to remember that no one will ever know your baby like you do at that moment. My baby actually liked to kick me during Savasana to let me know he was there! 

Great Poses For Pregnancy:

Baddah Konasana (Bound Angle)

This is the perfect pose to relieve lower back pain/pressure especially if you sit up on a blanket or towel.

Marjaryasana/Bitilasana (Cat/Cow)

This pose is great for the back and abs. It helps both strengthen and stretch the muscles. 

Malasana (Yogi Squat)

This pose not only helps to open up the hips it’s also a pose you can choose to use in labor. 

Upavistha Konasana (Seated Forward Fold)

This is a deep stretch that’s perfect for inner thighs and lower back. It’s also a calming pose so it tells your body you are grounded and you are safe so that your body can truly relax. 

Adho Mukha Svanasana (Down Dog)

This pose is an inversion which means your head is below your heart and your heart is below your hips. If you are feeling any lightheadedness or if you have heartburn you should avoid this pose. Otherwise it is a perfect pose to get a full stretch of the back of the body. 

These were just some of the many benefits of doing yoga while pregnant as well as some amazing poses to help ease your sore body. I hope you enjoy them and get into a practice that you continue in your postpartum journey as well!

Namaste, mama!

xoxo, nikki

*I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL! All information on this blog is for educational purposes only, and does not substitute for medical advice. Consult a medical professional or healthcare provider if you are seeking medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment. We are not responsible or liable for risks or issues associated with using or acting upon the information on our site.

You found out you’re having a baby and now it’s time. The baby registry. You look up all the things your baby will need, the fancy swing, expensive rocking chair, the best toys. What they don’t tell you is that the swing will probably get recalled, your baby will want you to stand when you hold them, and a cardboard box has the same effect as any toy you buy. But, here we are making a list anyway because it’s fun, duh. If we have to deal with swollen feet and hernias then the least we can do is make a list of all the fun things we won’t end up using. I’ll add a whole bunch to this list and you can pick and choose what you want from it. Some of it you will really need and some of it you may never use but you won’t know until you bring that little bundle of joy home and he or she lets you know what was and wasn’t worth the cash.

TRAVEL:

• Stroller – I have one that you can attach the car seat to which is *chef’s kiss*
• Rain shield – Walks are necessary rain or shine.
• Baby carrier – Ergobaby is where it’s at! 
• Car seat – NO ROTATING CAR SEATS!!!!!!
• Car seat base – Get one for each car your baby will be in a lot.
• Portable sound machine – Perfect for a nap in the stroller.
• Car mirror or monitor – I have a monitor that sits on the dashboard, but a mirror works as well.
• Car window shade – We don’t have this but we should.

BATH:

• Bathtub – You can get a sink one and then one to go in the actual tub.
• Bubbles – Who doesn’t love bubbles?
• Toys – No rubber duckies or anything that can trap mold! 
• Hooded towels – We have about 4 towels and that’s more than enough.
• Washcloths – We have way too many washcloths. A 6 pack should be fine.
• Bath kneeler – Not necessary but a luxury if you don’t feel like having your knees on the floor.
• Bath time gift set – Shampoo, body wash and lotion! 
• Baby grooming kit – You can get clippers, snot sucker, toothbrush all in one.

NURSERY FURNITURE:

• Crib – Self explanatory.
• Glider – We love our glider but a regular chair or couch works the same.
• Changing table – 100% not needed HAHA. We just change diapers on the floor.
• Dresser – Gotta have somewhere to hide the overabundance of baby clothes.
• Bassinet – Perfect iif you choose to have baby in your room at first. Or you can keep it downstairs. We kept one next to our couch to lay him in if we had to do something.
• Crib mattress – Obviously.

NURSERY:

• Crib bedding sets – Again, don’t go crazy. We have 4 in rotation.
• Blankets – We have a blanket for the couch, car, and stroller.
• Crib liner and pad, Obviously. 
• Swaddles – DO NOT go overboard on swaddles. Some kids (mine) hated being swaddled so we stopped using them almost immediately. 
• Sleep sacks – We have 2 in rotation but if he’s wearing fleece pajamas he doesn’t use one at all.
• Changing pad and covers – Not needed if you change on the floor. A real money saver people LOL.
• Hamper – Not necessary but I like having his stuff already separated so I can just throw it in.
• Hangers – If you’re like me and hang most of the baby clothes you’re going to need a lot of these.
• Sound machine – HATCH! That is all.
• Diaper pail – No. We got one and it’s never been used, not even once. Trashcans have the exact same purpose. 
• Baby monitor – Some people like baby monitors on their phone but I like the one with the actual monitor so I don’t have to go back and forth on my phone.
• Books – I cannot stress this enough. You can NEVER have too many books.

CLOTHES:

In terms of clothes I’m the worst because I have the most clothes but he only wears about half. They’re so cute though!

• Zipper pj’s – The only pajamas i’ll use. Buttons suck.
• Onesies 
• Tops
• Bodysuits
• Bottoms
• Newborn sets

NURSING:

• Silver cups 
• Nursing pads
• Boppy
• Breast pump bra
• Therapearl 
• Milk storage bags
• Breast pump
• Hakka breast pump 
• Nipple cream
• Nursing cover
• Nursing shirts

FEEDING: 

• Bibs – I personally can’t be bothered unless we’re out at a restaurant he just eats with no clothes on. I will say the only bibs we like are the cape bibs otherwise it’s just all still a mess.
• Meal set 
• High chair – Don’t go crazy it’s going to get messy. Currently we use a travel high chair that attaches to the table so he can sit right with us.
• Bottles – If you only have one kid you don’t need a million bottles. Find a brand you like and get a set.
• Burp cloths – Never too many burp cloths.
• Sterilizer – I love mine but the dishwasher does the same thing. 
• Bottle warmer – Nice to have.
• Utensils – We love the Olababy spoons.
• Extra bottle nipples – In case something happens or you need a different flow (slow, medium, fast).
• Bottle brush – Not necessary but makes life easier.
• Drying rack – You can use your drying rack I just like having the extra so everything isn’t super crowded.

HEALTH & SAFETY:

• Air purifier – We have dogs so this is needed for our house.
• Humidifier – Don’t want babies skin to dry out.
• Sunscreen – They cannot use sunscreen until 6 months but it is nice to have on hand.
• Stroller fan – Cannot stress enough the love I have for a stroller fan to keep him cool on hot walks.
• Safety locks – Don’t want the baby getting into all the drawers. 
• Electric nail trimmer – Don’t ask, just get it. 
• Safety plugs – No baby fingers in sockets.
• Nose Frida – We liked our nose frida but the NozeBot is the way to go. Blew the nose frida out of the water.
• Thermometer – Obviously. 
• Baby gates – Obviously. 
• Portable pacifier sterilizer – Not necessary unless you really don’t want germs also if your baby hates pacifiers it’s a waste.
• Corner protectors – For the head bumps that are bound to happen.
• Boogie wipes – For snotty days. 
• Shopping cart cover – I love the shopping cart cover so that he doesn’t try and eat the handle of the cart.
• Pacifiers – If you need them. I on the other hand have a thumb sucker. 
• Medicine – Baby tylenol is nice to have on hand for a tough teething day. 
• Laundry detergent – I have a different detergent for him but it’s not necessary.

GEAR:

• Lovevery subscription – The perfect amount of toys. 
• Stroller toys – Just a little something to keep them occupied.
• Tummy time mat – Not necessary with the Gymini but both are super fun.
• Gymini – Big fan.
• Walkers – For once baby is ready to go! 
• Activity center – Griffin spends a large chunk of time in his activity center because he loves it so much.
• Bouncer – I would say either get a bouncer or a swing, we used the bouncer all the time but the swing only got a little use. 
• Swing – See above.
• Dock a tot – When he was an infant we would lay this on the floor and use it as a changing pad. We also put it on the couch and let him sleep in it (I know it’s not safe sleep approved STFU). 
• Play pen – A place to throw all the toys. 
• Floor seat – Griffin loved to sit in his little seat before he could sit up by himself. 

DIAPERING:

• Diapers – Get as many as you can stock in each size. 
• Wipes – Water wipes are the way to go.
• Diaper rash cream – YES! 
• Diaper bag – Get a couple because why not. 
• Diaper organizer – We have a couple diaper caddies from Parker Baby Company and they are amazing.

Let us know down below what you used and what you did and didn’t use to help out a fellow mama! 

xoxo,nikki

I remember the day the itching started. Itching that was so intense that I’d leave myself bleeding. I was 36 weeks pregnant with hundreds of tiny red bumps surrounding my belly button in a ring, embedded within more stretch marks than I’d like to admit. As if that wasn’t bad enough, it spread. Up my chest, down my legs. Every inch of me. PUPPS is what the doctor called it, “pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy.” Essentially, my body was having a histamine reaction to my baby inside of me, and the only way to make it end, birth. That’s right. If I were to go to term, then I would have 4 weeks left of incessant itching, sleeping with icepacks and bathing in any remedy I could find on google. Less than 1% of women will get PUPP’s rash…lucky me.

By week 38, I was essentially sleep deprived and still itching when my blood pressure spiked. At my appointment that week, I was told I was being induced. I had heard how difficult inductions could be, but truly, I was willing to take on anything if it meant the itching would disappear.

I was allowed to go home, shower, and eat some dinner and reported back to the hospital at 7pm that night. I never would have imagined it would be 30 more hours before I’d meet my little girl.

I was 1cm dilated. The induction started with the insertion of a foley balloon which was more comfortable than I imagined having put in. I was told the balloon would stay in for the next 12 hours and to try to get some sleep. That was pretty comical, considering within one hour, I was in unbelievably excruciating pain. I did all that I could to pace, breathe through it, and talk myself off a ledge. The contractions were only a minute apart with this balloon. I thought for sure it must have been working way too well. Ultimately, I couldn’t handle the pain much longer and a nurse was able to give me medication through an IV to help me sleep. Thankfully it worked!

When I woke up in the morning, the balloon was still in. They told me I could pull it out, but I really couldn’t imagine doing that. I thought for sure I’d rip my insides out, so an amazing nurse came over, pulled on it and popped it out like it was nothing! The floor was an absolute horrifying mess from that, but I was excited to hear that I was now 5cm dilated at 7am! Halfway there!

My team started me on Pitocin and encouraged me to walk the halls. I paced up and down for a few hours, shocked by how comfortable I was. My husband and I laughed and talked, and I was beginning to think that contractions wouldn’t get that painful for me. Again. I was wrong. At 1pm, the doctor came in to break my water, AKA the cushion keeping the contractions from feeling too intense. Shortly after the water broke, the intensity really began to pick up. Every three minutes a contraction would hit. I was managing though and breathing through it, talking to my mom and husband in-between.

 I remember around 3 pm my husband making me laugh in the middle of a contraction. I couldn’t breathe and entered into a panic. Tears started pouring down my face, and as quick as a switch, I was mentally out of the game. I couldn’t stop crying and was truly exhausted. I kept fighting and fighting willingness for an epidural. The thought of the needle had me so scared. Instead, I opted for more medication in my IV. This time though, it didn’t work nearly as well as the first time, and instead, I found myself really out of sorts. I remember saying to my husband, “Hey, will you make sure that I keep breathing? I think I keep forgetting to breathe.” Talk about drugged out.

When I finally came out of that around 6 pm, I was sobbing again. My husband sent the nurses and my mom out of the room and convinced me to get the epidural. At this point, I was 23 hours in and really needed something to help me. I chose to listen and clung to my nurse as the anesthesiologist gave me the epidural. Looking back, I can’t believe how scared I was. I hardly felt it at all over the contractions and pretty quickly was in such relief. I was finally able to smile again and get back into a better mindset. Note to self though: when given an epidural, you’re handed a clicker to keep giving yourself the medicine…. don’t forget to use it. You better keep on clicking. Don’t be fooled by how good you feel. I didn’t click. Not even once. I was confused on how to know when to click and didn’t think to ask.

She grabbed the olive oil and lubed me up. Yup you heard that right. Olive oil. A whole gallon of olive oil. It was the only sense of comedy I’d had in hours, but let me tell you. It worked. 45 minutes of intense pushing and my daughter was born, at 12:08am, with only one mild internal tear. As they lifted her up to me and began suctioning some fluid out of her mouth, my midwife began taking care of my needs. She helped work out the placenta, which felt like the biggest relief of pressure that I had ever experienced.

Everyone kept telling me how beautiful my daughter was. I remember hearing them and thinking, “I haven’t really seen her yet.” She was laying on my chest, but I was too tired to move. Too tired to pick my head up. I had to ask the nurse to show her to me, and as soon as she did, it was pure bliss. It almost didn’t feel real to me. It was as though we’d wake up the next day and I’d realize it was all some dream. I still feel that way to be honest. 2.5 years later, and sometimes I consider that this journey of motherhood may have all been a dream. Getting pregnant wasn’t easy. Being pregnant wasn’t easy. Labor wasn’t easy. Early motherhood wasn’t easy. But the love came easy. Oh, and guess what, by the morning, that rash really did go away!

Katie

Instead of telling you where all the best baby sales are this year, I will be taking a more wholesome approach. Thanksgiving is about being with family and friends, eating too much food and of course football. I hope this Thanksgiving you sit by a fire in a cozy sweater and begin to count all the things you are thankful for.

This year I have much more to be thankful for than usual. Not that I had a short list before, but this year it’s like the bucket’s overflowing with love. I have a beautiful family with a handsome baby boy, a caring and supportive husband, the sweetest dogs, as well as the greatest family and friends in the world whom we keep very close to our hearts. This year I also have this little community Alyssa and I decided to start through the madness that is motherhood. I’m so happy we decided to start this endeavor and I’m excited to see where it goes. I hope that you all enjoy reading our posts as much as we enjoy writing them!

I would also quickly like to touch on the fact that if you are a mom, you don’t lose parental rights just because it’s the holidays. You do not have to see the toxic people, or be forced to go to a million different houses. If you choose to stay at your house and do Thanksgiving by yourself no one and I mean no one can say anything about it. Spend the holidays doing what makes you and your family happy. Remember these kids are only little once! 

To keep this short and sweet I hope you have a lot to be thankful for this year and I hope you eat all the mashed potatoes your stomach can handle.

xoxo, nikki

Nikki took the words right out of my mouth. We hope you have the best Thanksgiving surrounded by amazing food and friends. I hope your stomachs are full of mashed potatoes because mine will be. I’m hoping to be in a turkey coma by 8, wake up…then pumpkin pie coma by 10, so if you need me I’ll be getting rolled home by Jimmy LOL.  

Anyway, I guess it’s my turn to share a few things I am thankful for this year. This year will be cherished forever. It was the year I got what I have always dreamed of. The year I became a mom. Yes, I am sure you already know what I am going to say: I am thankful for my Livy girl. I am not only thankful for her but the person she has helped me become. This version of me, the one she helped shape me into, this Alyssa is my favorite Alyssa and I owe that to Olivia. I am also thankful for Jimmy, who everyday works so hard for our little family doing everything he can so I am able to be happy and be home with our girl as much as I can. Of course I am forever thankful for our families. They say it takes a village and boy do we have a big one behind us. Lastly, I am thankful for this community and Nikki. I am so grateful we have this platform. It makes me feel less lonely and a little less crazy….as we all know motherhood does that to you.

Well friends, I could go on and on but I invite you to take the time and reflect on what you have to be thankful for this year! We would love to hear about it so please leave a comment or shoot us a message. Enjoy your Thanksgiving, put some extra whip on that slice of pie this year. 

As always, Alyssa

Best part about spontaneous labor? No one knew I was in labor, not even me. This made it super easy for Brit and I to decide we weren’t going to tell anyone about it until he was born, except immediate family of course. Surprise! It was honestly nice and I actually wish looking back on it we had waited even longer to tell people. Once everyone knows your phone starts blowing up like a Fourth of July firework show. Obviously, it’s nice everyone is excited, but it’s also overwhelming to a new mom feeling like she has to respond to everyone right then and there. However, I didn’t have to deal with the visitors at the hospital and for that I am thankful.

I’ve seen the pictures of everyone gathered in super small hospital rooms. Mom looks like she was hit by a train, bleeding all over the bed, but smiling because she can’t show people she’s in pain. No thanks. Covid stopped me from having visitors at the hospital and I think it’s the one thing I enjoyed about the Covid era. The thought of people coming in and sitting there while I’m tired as fuck, pumping milk out of myself every 2 hours, trying to make small talk sounds like my own personal hell. Now, if you want people in your room post delivery, I commend you. I understand that some mamas really just want to start showing that babe off immediately and why shouldn’t you? You spent a long time cooking that little love so they could come out into the world and receive all the love they deserve. But if you’re anything like me, having that time in the hospital to yourself was a blessing you didn’t realize you needed.

Then you get home. This is where boundaries come in. The first few weeks, even months after baby are the dark ages. You just kinda black out and hope you did everything right when you finally come to. This means the visitors you choose to have at that time should be people actively trying to help you through the blackout. The DD if you will, the people who help you find the light at the end of the newborn tunnel. For Brit and I the first few weeks consisted of immediate family and Lauren, everybody needs a Lauren. A Lauren is the best friend who doesn’t come over to sit there and stare at you, no, a Lauren takes a night shift or 4 so you can sleep. The way I look at it is the people you allow over in the first few weeks should be the people that you consider an extension of yourself, the people who get the bottle ready for you while you change the diaper without even asking. 

Now, Alyssa and I were also both super careful after our babies were born. Olivia as we know was born super small, and she was  born at the height of RSV and flu season. Griffin was in the NICU, and when we asked the nurses about visitors, they all said to limit visitors at first until he was at least at his due date. I think it’s safe to say the last thing any mama wants is her baby getting sick with literally anything. 

Whether you choose to have visitors after baby or not is up to each person. You might want to hole up at home with no visitors at all, total caveman style. Or you might have a sip and see, and invite everyone you’ve ever met. But, if you’re like me you just wanted the people who were going to help you get by. 

So, what’s the right answer on when to have visitors after baby? Whenever the fuck you want mama.

xoxo,nikki

https://www.npr.org/sections/allsongs/2021/12/01/1060270846/vote-for-the-best-albums-of-2021

If you know me at all you know I’m a spooky bitch. I mean I got married on Halloween for Christ sake. Every year I hibernate for 3 months while people have their summer fun. But, come September 1st, oh hunny, it’s a glorious morning and it absolutely does not make me sick (iykyk). We go by meteorological seasons in the Potter household and that means September, October, and November are Fall. I live for a crisp 65 degree day, colorful leaves, the smell of apples filling my house. Hocus Pocus is a must as we decorate for the start of the best 3 months of the year, and the best part is that this year I have a new friend to experience it all with. We did some fun fall things around Philadelphia and I narrowed it down to our favorites. I hope you enjoy and try some out for yourself.

 Decorate: 

On September 1st we woke up, went into the attic and brought down all the boxes labeled Fall/Halloween. We had some breakfast, summoned the spirits, and discussed the origin of Halloween which I will add at the end of this post because history is important! After a breakfast of sweet potatoes, because we needed something orange, we sat on the couch and turned on one of the best Halloween movies of all time, Hocus Pocus. While Griffin watched, I decorated our house so that we could begin our favorite season. Griffin got to put out the last pumpkin in our spooky village – A tradition I hope we keep going for years to come!

Spooky book shopping:

Once you decorate the house, you need to keep the theme going. And what’s better for Halloween than a spooky story. Which meant a trip to the bookstore. By the time we were done we had almost every Halloween book in the kids section and I don’t regret it one bit. We read through all of them and decided to share some of our favorites with you! Our top picks were Gustavo The Shy Ghost, Snowmen At Halloween, How I Met My Monster & Hocus Pocus! 

Pumpkin Patch (Linvilla Orchards):

Nothing says Fall like a plump, orange pumpkin. We went to a pumpkin patch and had the best time looking at all the pumpkins and fall/Halloween decor they had. Griffin loved looking around and he even got his own baby sized pumpkin. While it was fun to walk around with a baby, there were a lot of other things there for toddlers and young kids between a playground, corn mazes, hayrides, apple picking, train rides, face painting, and all the sweet treats you can imagine. Linvilla is the perfect place to go during spooky season but I do recommend going during the week if you can because weekends are less than pleasant with tons of people bumping into each other.

Longwood Gardens:

The best spot to walk around any day of the year but especially during the holiday season. The first holiday being Halloween. As you walk in there is a huge pumpkin display which is the perfect spot for a picture. They also have a pumpkin playground for older kids to explore pumpkins, gourds, and corn husk towers. There is a restaurant on the property so you can take a break from exploring to fuel up. This is also the perfect spot for holiday card photos, which is right around the corner. 

Boo At The Zoo: 

Our favorite thing to do this Halloween season was hands down the zoo. They have Boo at the Zoo on the weekends in October and everyone is supposed to dress up. They have candy bags for sale when you walk in or you can bring your own. Throughout the zoo are tents where kids can go trick-or-treating. Because what kid doesn’t want to see their favorite animals and get their favorite candy at the same time! 

Overall there are so many things to do and we just scratched the surface. We can’t wait to do all of this and more next October and we hope you also try some of our suggestions, we promise you won’t regret it! 

ORIGIN OF HALLOWEEN:

I could go super in depth with this but it’s a mom blog so I’ll just scratch the surface here since it is Halloween and you should all know what you’re really celebrating. October 31st is known as Samhain, one of two ‘spirit nights’. Samhain is a Celtic festival which translates to “end of summer”.  It is a time to celebrate the death of summer and birth of winter. It is said that at this time the barrier between the physical realm and the spirit realm is broken down to its thinnest form. This means on that day you could communicate with your departed loved ones. However, while the barrier was open, monsters could come through as well. This is where costumes came from because people would dress up so as to scare the monster’s, fairies in particular. This way they wouldn’t be kidnapped. In the 7th century the Catholic church declared November 1st as All Saints Day and in 1000A.D the church made November 2nd All Souls Day. It is widely believed that the church was trying to replace Samhain with its own church sanctioned holiday. All Saints Day was considered All-Hallows and Samhain was called All Hallows Eve. Eventually all three merged to create what we know today as Halloween.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN MAMAS!

xoxo,nikki